I had a dream about you:
You lived with your family way out in the country
Rich green grass stretched out in square textured patches to the blue horizon
An American quilt of English lawns
We were having dinner outside
After, we were playing with a tennis ball
And then I was over-arm bowling at you with a table-tennis ball
Cricket style
It was summer
Dusk fell lightly on us
We conversed as dining people do
Relaxed on the whole, if a little affected, by our roles in the civil occasion
A fourth adult was present
A man
Possibly a friend of yours
At some point I accidentally threw the ball beyond Matthew
And I ran up behind your row of buildings to the back gardens
To retrieve it
Here I found a series of narrowboat locks
Glimmering surrealism like sunken fish tanks in a Dali frame
The ball bobbing gingerly on the surface of one
The water: astronomy blue like mystic dates
I made as if to scoop it out at which point your husband made a sound like
“Don’t! I’ll do it. You’ll annoy the neighbours. They're our mates."
They say all dreams are wish fulfillment
It makes sense
I wasn’t even trying to retrieve what we’ve lost
What I’ve lost : all dreams are egoic
Nor was I trying to resolve the thing
I was transporting us to a time and place where resolution had cleared the weather for
Another shot at that clear-sky thing we did
To a version of me who had stopped chasing storms
Those fields were so green!
I know
It was all just a silly dream
...
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