I See You; or Flashes of Electric Blue

from a collection entitled "Cry Me A River"

You swirled into my coffee shop and my life last summer

Though you'd long since turned the rope for my heart to skip it's beat

Way back in the misty retreat of the heat of 2009

Esporta and Lime

My memory begs;

Lord save us! Who's that girl with the legs!?

Is she English or Asian ? Is she human? Can she be true?

I don't know her but I do

I'm at the mercy of her movements

Her flashes of electric blue

My knees give way when she looks

I daren't say 'Hi'

Maybe she's just passing by

But last year in Costa I offered a seat

And we danced out our introductions

The way tomorrows lovers greet

A light in the darkest of my days

You shone yet I couldn't see you

Later, we sat in my flat

Me on the sofa

You long-legged on the floor and we complained bitterly of our ex's

Anna this

Chris that

We stumbled heady on booze from your rickety bedsit to the Jackalope in Chorlton

We kissed and fumbled but we were troubled

Later....

Bliss!

Days on end in bed. My angel, hand on heart, I said

You declared your love and we strolled the quays, me poetic rapping. You on your knees

Cafe Rouge. Back row of the cinema. Pizza on the plaza

Long summer breeze

Us new lovers. Learning how to kiss

Yet still I couldn't see you

I hit therapy and I hit out at you

For all of the things in my past

Projecting my fears and pain onto our fragile canvas

You poor thing

And we moved apart

Then in July or August you moved in

To my block

And our chaotic boat again began to rock to the harbour-locked swell of our love

Mine that I still couldn't or wouldn't show

Yours all on your sleeve. Given freely in one go

Yet still I couldn't see you

My psychotic rage withering your love away

Burning another page in the book of our story

Of our fantastic star-crossed potential glory

Until finally you left

And found a true gent who is my world apart

I live in anger

He in The Heart

Your heart now

We are what was

What once nearly was

Goodbye my love

And all since I never manned up and saw you, held you, loved you, gave myself to you

All because

I couldn't see you

I couldn't see how happy you made me

I couldn't see how

I needed to love you right now